I’m sure if you’ve watched ‘Why Did I Get Married?’ you will remember the part where the friends are playing pool and Gavin (Malik Yoba) starts explaining the 80 20 Rule. For those of you who haven’t seen that awesome movie, this is my take on it, paraphrasing of course.
In most marriages (or relationships), you are only going to get 80% of what you need and want. The problem comes along when you see someone else that is offering the 20% you’re not getting in your marriage. That 20% looks really good. What you don’t realize is, they’re only offering 20%. Don’t give up the 80 just to get 20 because if you do, it won’t be long before you realize that you threw away a whole lotta 80 and you ain’t gettin it back so you’re stuck with a whole lot less with the 20% that looked so good before.
Something else to think about.. When you decide you want that 20 more than you do the 80, don’t think you can go crawling back to your 80% when things don’t work out with the 20. Chances are, you were only 20% to your 80 and she (or he) has already moved on and found a real 80. You will probably never find another 80, or if you do, you won’t even know it since you obviously didn’t see it with the original 80.
I think a lot of guys (women included too) realize this and that is why they keep the 80, but have the 20 on the side. They don’t appreciate the 80 because they’re being selfish; wanting that 20 to make it 100. If they would just comprehend that a marriage takes work, lots and lots of work every day, they could get close to having 100% in the marriage.
To put it simply; nobody will ever meet 100% of your needs or wants. Don’t be stupid or selfish and think you can hook up with some side piece and have both the spouse and the extra in your life or that the grass is greener on the other side with some dumb bimbo and then expect to come crawling back when you realize she is a clingy, crazy, lying, lazy, cheating, worthless woman. Because if you do go for that greener piece of land, that is what you deserve!
Think long and hard before you throw away the 80.